Samanthas 私の夢は君に愛されることです。

⚜ My dream is to be loved by you. ⚜

My name is Samantha, a 20 year old college student.

This is my new blog dedicated to thoughts and events that I just felt like writing about. Maybe even writings, posting photos or artwork. For those who are interested, I'll be writing a blog for while I'm in Japan. Though these entries are more professional since my university is listing it under their international blog page. Just click Japan underneath the picture on the left for that blog, more personal posts will be posted here.

Abbey ⚜ BreeAnna ⚜ Christine ⚜ Resha ⚜ Robert

Dream ⚜ Japan

Sometimes I forget how hard it is to make friends.

Today I met up with two exchange students that are staying here in Tahlequah, OK. Masayo and Sho. They are both really nice, Masayo is a bit on the quiet side but very eager to talk when she has a topic and Sho is very out spoken and friendly. I felt so awkward with them though I tried my best to talk to them and act casual. But I always forget how much of a people pleasure I am. I had a great time talking with them and when it was time to say good bye I'm hit hard with thoughts of 'I wonder if they like me?' or 'Was I to awkward? Did I try my best to make them happy?'

Sho suggested meeting up one more time before I leave, and even asked me to come visit his home town when he returns. Masayo also said that we could try meeting up when she came back to Japan. But I wonder if they're trying to be polite.

This is a flaw that I wish I didn't have. The insecurity of someone not liking me when I want to be their friend. I... really dislike the feeling. It feels like I standing with no floor beneath me and in one step I'll just drop in to a dark abyss. I wish I had more confidence in myself, and I'm really trying but I think for the rest of my life I'm going to have this insecurity when I try making friends. It's a lot of hard work into keeping and sustaining a friendship, though, I have a few friends that I can proudly say that we just clicked so well and we are so close because of it.

I wonder if everyone feels this one... or at least a lot of people. All I can do is keep trying and try my best,

The First Time ⚜ Nicole's left for Korea ⚜ Standards of Women ⚜ July 2011 ⚜ August 2011 ⚜ September 2011 ⚜ October 2011 ⚜ August 2012 ⚜ Coded by wickedicy banner from Reviviscent.